Truly Terrible Animal Jokes

Some days, you just need a couple of extra chuckles to get you going in the morning. Luckily for you, we’ve compiled a list of some of our favorite, animal-themed jokes. Enjoy!


Why did the duck go to jail? It was selling quack.

Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side.

What do you call a fish without an eye? FSH!

Where do mice park their boats? At the hickory dickory dock!

What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow? A watch dog.

What is a cat’s favorite movie? The sound of Mew-sic!

How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower? Squeaky clean!

Where do you put barking dogs? In a barking lot.

What do you call a pig who knows karate? Porkchop!

What do you call a cow in a tornado? A milkshake!

What do you call an exploding monkey? A baboom!

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they’d be bagels.

What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.

What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”

What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it? Nothing. It just gave a little wine!

Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Because if it had four, it would be a chicken sedan!


And our personal favorite: Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, “Hey, do you even know how to drive this thing?!?”



Thanks for the laughs!

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